Life has been pretty hectic.
On top of all the personal stuff, my new project is now going full steam ahead.
I’m focused, writing, planning, thinking and creating like a maniac!
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In the middle of it all, my dear friend asked me to give feedback on a written draft.
My first internal response: ugh, what a drag, i’m so busy and exhausted, and not up for focusing my limited mental energy on this.
So i asked about her timeframe and let her know i’d need a couple of days.
It felt like i should do it.
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Then i had this internal dialogue. (as I do, lol!)
“Sarah, you’re writing this material about self care, setting boundaries, being able to say no, practicing what you preach might be a good idea!”
Perhaps this was a test for me to set limits?
On the other hand, I have been saying ‘no’ more often recently.
Especially to the non essential stuff.
It sat in the back of my mind for a few days…
The shoulds kept rolling around.
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Then another thought stream, if i were to do this, what might be a positive motivation rather than feeling obligated and dutiful?
I love this friend to bits and love supporting her to reach her goals. She has done so much for me over the years. She’s also had a really big couple of months and is having a stressful week.
This one thing, although inconveniently timed, would really help her out.
After I’d shifted my thinking to a more positive motivation, my energy lifted.
I opened the document and editing it was a breeze.
It even allowed me to appreciate the knowledge and skills i’d gathered over the years. A little unexpected boost!
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Being generous is easy when we’re feeling good and giving something that doesn’t mean that much to us, but the challenge is when we’re not feeling up to it.
Then it is truly a gift of ourselves.
My friend and I try hard for authenticity and honesty in our friendship.
So the best bit, when we talked afterwards, I got a chance to let her know it wasn’t great timing but i did it because she is precious to me.
Our text convo went like this:
• “I almost messaged to say I wasn’t in the head space but it was for you! Means you’re special! Hugs sx”
• “How good does that make me feel. Thank you again.”
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We all know that the headspace in which we approach a task makes a difference to the experience, but how often do we actively manage our thinking?
Should, must, duty and obligation can feel like draining energies. I’m trying to delete them from my list of motivators.
Even if i do feel obliged, and i plan to say yes, then I’ll try to find a constructive motivation, particularly when it’s challenging.
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When we do something for others, it can be such a gift to let them know we’re doing it, not from duty or obligation, but because they mean so much to us.
Feels good huh?
Wishing you a day of good energy flow!
You are such a generous person Sarah and a wonderfully supportive friend. I enjoyed your post. It’s always good to analyse our thinking and motivating forces.
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oh gosh, ain’t that true on observing our thinking patterns! big thank you! sx
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