Some pages from the scrapbook of Henry’s January holiday fun…
2016 is going to be my year!
I got super organised in December. 2015 was reviewed, month by month, the lessons and wisdom extracted, focused vision, clear plans, goals and tasks for the year ahead. There was even a goal for the end of January – to complete a first project draft…
Image from http://www.bookkeepersoncall.net.au
And then life happened…
Image from http://www.teaplusart.wordpress.com
My father has become increasing unwell.
My sister and her two small children have been visiting from London.
We had a 10 day visit from a family from Southern India who have been dear friends to my parents for over forty years.
We’ve been displaced from our home for two weeks, house sitting and caring for house, dog (Pookie) and fish.
We have ended our decade long journey through infertility and other losses. Regrets, life choices, intense emotions, clearing out, etc
It’s been a pretty big time…
Image from http://www.sparkledaystudio.com
So having the energy and time to focus on my new project has been challenging.
I have been reading the book “essentialism” by greg mckeown and it suggests a simple filter for all of life’s decisions – “what is essential?”
Most importantly, “what is essential right now?”
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Looking down from my tower of lofty goals and big plans, I asked, “What is important right now?”
Family took priority. Everything was set aside and the last three weeks (monday to friday) were spent playing games, cooking yummy food and hanging out.
So when i say life happened, i mean super, amazing, stupendous, fun and exhilerating life happened…
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My 3 3/4 year old nephew and I created a collage scrap book of all our fun holiday activities – it’s rather thick, stuffed with imaginative games and adventures…
Image from http://www.transom.org
Of course, all this play had a serious side as well, to support my sister and parents with child care. I feel so grateful for this precious time to forge a relationship with my niece and nephew. Time, for me, is a hallmark of an abundant life.
It has been a fantastic time to clear out stuckness, to get energy moving, to reflect, re-evaluate and remember what is truly essential in life.
Naturally, I’ve been pretty tired most nights. It has also been a very intense emotional time of release, grief and sadness, lots of tears, but i’ve tried to be truly present as i’ve travelled through each moment.
Unexpectedly, I haven’t missed my home and all the associated burdens / work that come with a big property. Now is time to radically de-clutter, to go through everything and for each item ask – “is this essential?”
Also time to review the gardening strategy to create a lower maintainance garden. The fine art of gardening is as much about what you take out, as what you put in. This is a big shift in focus.
Image from http://www.startingwitha.com
But for today, with family gone and move back home, we’re having a quiet sunday of nesting and peace. Perhaps a trip to the local coffee shop for brunch.
Wishing you a peaceful Sunday and time on what is essential and truly matters to you!
When working, i put in 100%. I often went above and beyond, over-creating the role and making it stressful. The focus was always external, giving to others until the well was truly dry. My needs got lost in the process, and there was very little left in the tank for fun and pleasure.
One great strategy taught by a friend was to always to have the next holiday, break or pleasurable activity planned for yourself. When she got back from holidays, she would book in the next long weekend or half day for a haircut and some pampering, whatever was needed. This could be a month out, but it was something to look forward to. She did it when she first got back when her energy was up and she was feeling good.
My partner is doing really long hours at work on a complex project at the moment, so we organised a weekend escape for some pampering and fun. Here’s some of the lovely adventures we had in Sydney. Should you find yourself in town, you might enjoy some of these options. Would love to hear about some of your special secret places in Sydney or other destinations!.
CHAMPAGNE AND CHEESE:
On the first night, we stopped in at Provenance Food & Wine Bottega Del Vino and they were giving out samples of this gorgeous French cheese Petit Délice des Crémiers
BREAKFAST AT YELLOW
Image from http://www.sydneyonsunday.com
The mornings spent drinking coffee and cooked brekkie in the sunshine. This historic old gallery and artist’s squat on Macleay Street has been converted into a delightful cafe. Particularly recommend the homemade bacon, homemade butter and jam, and fresh coffee.
SUNNING IN LIZZY BAY PARK, OVERLOOKING THE BOATS ON SYDNEY HARBOUR
Image from http://www.rubyjacksonart.com au
In the late 1980’s, when the Sydney adventures first started, I would often stay with family in Glebe and Newtown. There was nothing better than rummaging through the shops and soaking up the atmosphere on King Street and Glebe Point Road and the surrounding areas. They have changed over the years, there are less of the creative arts and unusual shops, but they are still beautiful. Badde Manors is a classic cafe, it was a wee welcome home – love it!
LOCAL FILM SCREENING, MORTARS, IN PARRAMATTA
Image from http://www.riversideparramatta.com.au
This film is interesting. Iqbal Barkat, a local film director, tells the story of a widow living on an isolated property next to an army base. She is seeking compensation for the damage to her house by disposal of armaments. A refugee man, who is lost and traumatised arrives on her land, and she offers him sanctuary. It explores their evolving relationship and attempts to communicate and connect. Delightful film.
CHAMPAGNE AT ‘LOVE TILLY DEVINE’ WINE BAR IN DARLINGHURST
Image from http://www.barzine.com.au
I love these hidden away gems in the back alleys of our big cities. A warm and cosy bar, great for conversation and laughter.
TAKE AWAY VIETNAMESE DINNER FROM MISSCHU
Image from http://www.sydneyshopgirl.com
HILDA RIX-NICHOLAS EXHIBITION AT MOSMAN ART GALLERY
Image from http://www.events.mosman.nsw.gov.au
We went on sunday morning. The gallery is attached to a church, so we wandered through the exhibition to the reverberating sounds of ‘How great though art”. I suspect Hilda was a bit of a kindred spirit, she studied art in France before world war 2 and travelled to North Africa painting as she went. Her story was marked with tragedy, losing her mother, sister and husband in quick succession when she was young. The paintings created during this time are vivid and colourful. Our artists are such a treasure!
OPENING THE DESK TOP LOCK AT MY SISTER’S OFFICE
Finally, an unexpected treat. After moving bags of books across town, my partner was able to jimmy the lock on my sister’s desk and open it. To our surprise, the key was locked inside! An unexpected puzzle!
We’d love to hear some of your tips and adventures in colour, sensation and joy!!
Wishing you many, many joyful moments in your day.
On a whim, we went to Sydney last weekend. We booked at the last minute, using frequent flyers, found a cheap hotel in Potts Point and visited some of our favourite haunts. It was the last chance to catch up with my sister before she heads overseas for 12 months. So the short time was focused on enjoying some relaxing time together and helping her get away.
Image from http://www.aussiehousesitters.com.au
Sydney is one of my favourite play cities. I have visited every couple of years since my late teens. Beloved family and friends live there. We love catching up and indulging the senses in the sunshine, sights, creativity, beauty and sounds that make up this lovely city.
In thinking about this post, an old dilemma resurfaced. Writing about joyfulness, pleasure and beauty – does it present a false picture of my life? Am i entering into that egoic social networking space of “look at me and my fabulous life’? This creates an illusion and can generate a negative backlash. This got me thinking about the kaleidescope of emotions, especially the ones that are less palatable.
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“A person who wishes another ill, is jealous, envious, or angry towards another person, is said to have the evil eye.”
When travelling in the middle east, we were given similar interpretations of the evil eye. To avoid this, one does not draw attention to successes or blessings, as this may provoke the ‘evil eye’, or envy reaction, in others and bring down negativity on oneself. Instead, one humbly and gratefully accepts the gifts one is given without showiness.
Now most of us quietly admit, that there are times of being possessed, or at least lightly touched by the evil eye or the little green monster. Usually this comes from a place of feeling something is missing in one’s life. This can be generated by negative self comparison and not feeling good enough. Envy is one of the emotions that can be stigmatised, so we often hide it, ashamed and embarrassed.
Recently I was inspired to read in Conversations with God, that envy is quite a normal human emotion, and to use it as a tool to identify what is missing, and become inspired to create that thing in one’s own life. To see it as a message from the soul about it’s aspirations, and to use it as motivational, rather than destructive energy.
It also helps to examine that which makes us envious – is it a constructive thing, like love and connection, or destructive? Often envy of material things is a metaphor for what that thing represents, eg freedom, opportunity, relief, security, fun, feeling worthy and esteem about oneself, happiness, etc. So it can help to dig deeper to uncover what it is we truly desire which is aligned with our values. This is our personal ethical journey to unravel.
To assist in writing this blog, i drew some wisdom cards to examine it further.
Well I couldn’t get a clearer set of cards that focused on the question of writing about pleasure, beauty and joy. There is a balance in these two cards, the first is reflective, contained and focused, the second is open indulgence. The blue of communication in words of the throat chakra and the red of the sensual pleasures of the base chakra.
It is a about finding the balance between the two. That to write about joyful things is not done with the intention of a self indulgent boast but rather in a measured way, to reflect, celebrate and inspire. To value the small blessings that we are all given. The key to resolving this dilemma is authenticity in the intention and manner of the writing.
What stood out for me in the first card was the pages laden with words and information. Everyone has their fabulous gifts to share with the world – one fabulous gift is sharing information about delightful experiences, places and opportunities that can be explored later.
This post is about all that great stuff, but also about the broader emotional landscape, that through its contrast, makes the joyful stuff so special. The truth is that joy coexists with moments of intense darkness – pain, sadness, loneliness, that stuff we all experience. The light exists in contrast to the dark, perhaps our task is to experience it with love and compassion, rather than judgement?
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Brene Brown’s work on shame and wholehearted living, tells us that we can’t selectively numb our feelings. If we choose to engage in the fullness of life, it includes the vibrancy of both the light and the shadows. At this stage in my life and writing, I choose to focus on and share the light, love and wisdom gained from these experiences. It has not always been like this for me, so I honour this and choose to experience without judgement, the whole kaleidoscope of emotions in order to lead a richer life. It is not always an easy path but it is authentic and real.
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Getting back to the weekend in Sydney, well that’s for part two.
In the meantime, experience the fullness of life with a whole and joyful heart, and be very kind and gentle with yourself during those darker moments.