Knowing and knowing…

When i started high school in the eighties, we were given a choice of four languages to study – French, German, Italian or Japanese.

I chose Italian. For no logical reason, it was just an intuitive feeling, with implications for my life that i could not have foreseen.

www sju edu

Image from http://www.sju.edu

In year eight, (the first year of high school), each class was streamed according to gender and language of study. My Italian class was the smallest in the year, with 24 students, 20 of whom were daughters of Italian and Greek families.

My school was located in an inner city suburb with a fairly large immigrant settlement population. Post war Australia received many southern European immigrants, all with their own culture, experience and stories to tell.

www italianschoolcommittee com

Image from http://www.italianschoolcommittee.com

This class, was the first time in my mostly white, middle class, suburban childhood that i experienced being in a cultural minority.  It was an eye opening, expansive and in many ways challenging experience.  Of course, you are often not aware of cultural norms and your cultural lens until taken out of your environment.

Later, in my early twenties, i travelled and experienced being in a minority in overseas countries. Truth is, i was culturally blind and naive in many ways, and these experiences opened my eyes to complexity and difference.

www wrike com

Image from http://www.wrike.com

One of the many things I love about other languages, is learning words for concepts where there is not direct translation into English.

For example, learning the Italian verbs “to know”. In Italian there are two words for this, “sapere” and “conoscere”.

The first, “sapere” is to know through the mind, theoretically through ‘book’ learning.  The second, “conoscere”, is to know through lived experience, to know through the heart.  For me, it’s even deeper, a knowing from your soul or your essence.

www bomkersworld net

Image from http://www.bonkersworld.net

Sometimes it feels to me that the journey of life is scattered with opportunities for the ignorance or knowing of the mind to be transformed into knowing of the heart and soul.

I had such an experience this week.

Last weekend, we were out to dinner with friends and the topic turned to discussion of the Irish living in post war England.  A time when racism took the form of violence, exclusion from jobs, education and life opportunities, social exclusion and slurs in the form of “Irish jokes”. I grew up hearing (and telling) Irish jokes, ignorant of the political implications of using humour to point out the assumed stupidity of a whole group of people, supposing it to be funny.

www ibtimes co uk

Image from http://www.ibtimes.co.uk

During the conversation, it was implied that I, being the daughter of the white, dominant culture, couldn’t really know and understand what it was like to be an oppressed minority.

I was slightly rattled by this, hadn’t i spent over 25 years working against injustice on both a personal and political level? My husband is Irish and we share everything equally in partnership. I hadn’t been through it, but I thought i was a card carrying member of the inclusive, tolerant generation? How could it be implied that i didn’t really understand?

www geekdad com.jpg

Image from http://www.geekdad.com

During the week, i watched the first season of the series The Man in the High Castle. Based on a book by Phillip K Dick. It is set in a fantasy  early 1960’s North America. The story is located in a dystopian world, where the Japanese and Germans won World War Two.  North America is partitioned into the occupied Japanese and German States, and the neutral zone.

It is a totalitarian system, anyone who is not Japanese or German is an oppressed minority and anyone who does not support the regime is exterminated.  It was a shocking world where people were treated appallingly. This was done in many overt and subtle ways, such as standing back in a secondary taxi queue whilst the dominant culture received preference, remaining silent in the presence of the dominant culture, living in impoverished housing, employment in lowly jobs, living with curfews and starkly, arbitrary arrests, mass graves etc.

www tzaranu com

Image from http://www.tzaranu.com

This was confronting, but there was a deeper layer in my response. For the first time I was seeing my own culture being treated as an oppressed racial minority. My gut turned as i experienced it coming to life in the unfolding drama.

What i learned, was not what it was like to be part of an oppressed minority, but that i truly don’t know and can never know.

I knew this in my head.  I had been told many stories, read books, seen movies, spoken to people, did “brown eyes / blue eyes training” etc. I thought I was fairly aware of racism but the experience this week enabled me to “conoscere” or experience that I truly do not know.

It is often said that we don’t know what we don’t know.  The first step to knowing is to become aware of our ignorance. For me, this is to know not just in my mind but also in my heart and lived experience.

www skipwalter net

Image from http://www.skipwalter.net

There was a part of me that has been blind to my own racial privilege. Not in my mind, for a long time i have know this, but in my heart, to truly feel and own this.  To ‘conoscere’ this.

Things have changed and come a long way in our society, but there is still so much further to go in achieving peace and justice among all peoples, especially for Aboriginal people.  One of the deep fears of an oppressive culture is being treated as badly as we have treated others. When I look around, I sometimes wonder how we can ever get to a place of reconciliation.

Racism, particularly subtle, internalised racism, is both a dirty secret and an uncomfortable truth. Yet when we look it straight in the eye, we can own it and move beyond.

www intrumpet com

Image from http://www.intrumpet.com

The courage to do this gives me hope for the future.

What this experience does for me, is to strengthen my resolve to stand against oppression.  To not take my freedom for granted and to demand that others be free. To challenge injustice that any person, race or class experiences.

I’d love to hear your story or your experiences where knowing of the mind became knowing of the heart and soul.

Sending big love today!

Sarah

 

Fragments of joy, part two…

When working, i put in 100%. I often went above and beyond, over-creating the role and making it stressful. The focus was always external, giving to others until the well was truly dry.  My needs got lost in the process, and there was very little left in the tank for fun and pleasure.

One great strategy taught by a friend was to always to have the next holiday, break or pleasurable activity planned for yourself. When she got back from holidays, she would book in the next long weekend or half day for a haircut and some pampering, whatever was needed. This could be a month out, but it was something to look forward to. She did it when she first got back when her energy was up and she was feeling good.

My partner is doing really long hours at work on a complex project at the moment, so we organised a weekend escape for some pampering and fun.  Here’s some of the lovely adventures we had in Sydney.  Should you find yourself in town, you might enjoy some of these options. Would love to hear about some of your special secret places in Sydney or other destinations!.

CHAMPAGNE AND CHEESE:

On the first night, we stopped in at Provenance Food & Wine Bottega Del Vino and they were giving out samples of this gorgeous French cheese Petit Délice des Crémiers

French cheeseOMG this cheese was so tasty with champagne and crackers!!

BREAKFAST AT YELLOW

www sydneyonsunday comImage from http://www.sydneyonsunday.com

The mornings spent drinking coffee and cooked brekkie in the sunshine. This historic old gallery and artist’s squat on Macleay Street has been converted into a delightful cafe. Particularly recommend the homemade bacon, homemade butter and jam, and fresh coffee.

SUNNING IN LIZZY BAY PARK, OVERLOOKING THE BOATS ON SYDNEY HARBOUR

IMG_20140621_110206_357Many of the Sydney harbourside suburbs have these delightful tiny parks that you can sit and enjoy the greenery, sunshine and the views.

TOFU BURGER WITH PEANUT SAUCE, AT BADDE MANORS CAFE ON GLEBE POINT ROAD www canberravegan blogspot comImage from http://www.canberravegan.blogspot.com

www rubyjacksonart com auImage from http://www.rubyjacksonart.com au

In the late 1980’s, when the Sydney adventures first started, I would often stay with family in Glebe and Newtown. There was nothing better than rummaging through the shops and soaking up the atmosphere on King Street and Glebe Point Road and the surrounding areas. They have changed over the years, there are less of the creative arts and unusual shops, but they are still beautiful. Badde Manors is a classic cafe, it was a wee welcome home – love it!

LOCAL FILM SCREENING, MORTARS, IN PARRAMATTA

www riverside parramatta com auImage from http://www.riversideparramatta.com.au

This film is interesting. Iqbal Barkat, a local film director, tells the story of a widow living on an isolated property next to an army base. She is seeking compensation for the damage to her house by disposal of armaments. A refugee man, who is lost and traumatised arrives on her land, and she offers him sanctuary. It explores their evolving relationship and attempts to communicate and connect. Delightful film.

CHAMPAGNE AT ‘LOVE TILLY DEVINE’ WINE BAR IN DARLINGHURST
www barzine com au

Image from http://www.barzine.com.au

I love these hidden away gems in the back alleys of our big cities. A warm and cosy bar, great for conversation and laughter.

TAKE AWAY VIETNAMESE DINNER FROM MISSCHU

www sydneyshopgirl comImage from http://www.sydneyshopgirl.com

HILDA RIX-NICHOLAS EXHIBITION AT MOSMAN ART GALLERY

www events mosman nsw gov auImage from http://www.events.mosman.nsw.gov.au

We went on sunday morning. The gallery is attached to a church, so we wandered through the exhibition to the reverberating sounds of ‘How great though art”. I suspect Hilda was a bit of a kindred spirit, she studied art in France before world war 2 and travelled to North Africa painting as she went. Her story was marked with tragedy, losing her mother, sister and husband in quick succession when she was young. The paintings created during this time are vivid and colourful. Our artists are such a treasure!

OPENING THE DESK TOP LOCK AT MY SISTER’S OFFICE

Finally, an unexpected treat. After moving bags of books across town, my partner was able to jimmy the lock on my sister’s desk and open it. To our surprise, the key was locked inside! An unexpected puzzle!

IMG_20140621_130137_386So wherever you find yourself, take time for whatever brings you joy and pleasure. It’s self nurturing and you totally deserve it!

We’d love to hear some of your tips and adventures in colour, sensation and joy!!

Wishing you many, many joyful moments in your day.

Much love
sarah

 

A family wedding…

Last week we travelled down to Melbourne for a family wedding, and we were excited!

For me, weddings are an opportunity for a fabulous community celebration of love and connection in our lives. But it’s not always been like this for me.

I was raised in a feminist family and for many years was anti-marriage. As a social institution, marriage, particularly for women, has a very chequered history. The historic notion of women being property, firstly of the father and then ‘given away’ into the custodianship of the husband, has always grated. Particularly when i consider that in my culture, my female ancestors had little or no access to education or means to make an independent income.

jennifertellsastory wordpress comImage from http://www.jennifertellsastory.wordpress.com

Women were unable to own or inherit property and were legally subject to the whims and mercy of their husband. There was no rape in marriage laws and ‘rule of thumb’ law meant men could beat their wives with a rod whose diameter was no larger than their thumb. This is just the start of my reservations about marriage as I believe these traditional notions of marriage were oppressive for men as well.

Our reservations about marriage were also about the injustice of gay and lesbian people not having the same legal marriage rights as heterosexual couples.

Marriage has a long, diverse and complex history. Truth is, I’ve always struggled with gendered concepts around role, work, social status and expectations. It amazes me how ingrained and limiting these patriarchal beliefs can be. Feminism for me, represents freedom, not just for women, but for all people to be free of gender stereotypes and expectations, to create themselves according to their own truth, purpose and values.
nytimes comImage from http://www.nytimes.com

To strive for freedom and liberation, one first needs a conscious awareness of their own chains and limitations. But this isn’t a post about feminism, it’s about marriage, for me they are connected.

I got married just over two years ago. Why? So what changed? Well in a nutshell, me.

Our decision to get married started as pragmatic. We were approaching the 10th anniversary of our relationship and we wanted to throw a big party to celebrate. Most of our family live interstate and overseas and we realised that they were unlikely to travel for a party, but the big ‘M’ might motivate them! :o)

Truth is, we’d been cogitating on marriage for a few years. We had attended some lovely weddings in the preceding years and were warming to the idea. We decided to unpack the concept and redefine marriage on our own terms. In fact, we could just as easily not have married, but we embraced the concepts of joyous celebration.

At its very basic core, a marriage is an economic arrangement where two people agree to take financial responsibility for each other. Pre-liberation, when women were economically dependent, this usually meant men taking responsibility for women. When someone makes this kind of economic commitment to another person, it is a beautiful gift and in my mind should not be limited to opposite genders and some other constraints.  Sadly, Australian laws limit marriage to heterosexual couples only.

speculatingcanada wordpress comImage from http://www.speculatingcanada.wordpress.com

Religion, culture, and social norms have layered meaning and expectations onto this social institution, particularly around gender roles, work, sexuality and the procreation of children. Couples now, have greater opportunity to redefine their relationships on their own terms (within existing cultural constraints). However, change is needed to the laws on same sex marriage, heterosexuals don’t own marriage.

Our marriage is an ongoing creation, but let’s look at our wedding itself. When it came to the wedding, we started with a blank slate. We threw out all the expectations, all the assumptions about what we should or should not do and created the event ourselves.

We came to understand the wedding as a public statement and celebration of what already was – our existing love and commitment to each other. We went further and saw it as a deeper spiritual ritual. We set the intention that the event was a gift to our community of family and friends. Our theme was “a celebration of love in our lives in all of its forms.”

Wedding program coverOur beautiful friend Narelle was the celebrant. She is very open and supportive of us. Many of our family and friends helped to organise the event. We are so grateful for their love and generosity! The ceremony took place on our land among the trees, birds and nature spirits. We created a magical ritual and cast a circle, we honoured the Aboriginal traditional owners and custodians of the land, and invited in the divine, our ancestors, elemental spirits and beings of light. The process honoured self love first, love and gratitude for our parents, love for our community, and romantic love for each other. We did a hand binding and exchanged rings and our own vows. We created and activated blessings for ourselves, each person present and their family, friends and community, and finally blessings for the earth and all beings.

angelslightworldwide files wordpress comImage from http://www.angelslightworldwide.files.wordpress.com

Now I understand the spiritual concept of the glowing bride. On the day, I became an open channel as an extraordinarily beautiful and joyful loving energy poured through. Throughout the whole ceremony and party afterwards this energy kept flowing. I set the intention for it to continually flow to all the people in attendance (and those who could not) and sent it out to the planet and all beings. We created an energetic mirror around us so that all the love, good thoughts and intentions that were sent our way were gratefully received and magnified 10 fold back into the lives of the sender. This was the spiritual gift to our community.

The focus for us was on celebration. We had a wonderful fun party afterwards at our family home. My parents were so generous in supporting us and hosting the event. We kept dancing and laughing til 5am, when we collapsed in a heap and watched the sunrise over the front deck. I can’t tell you how blessed and grateful we feel for such generosity from our community and our blessed memories.

_DSC6432 So i’m a convert to the joy and blessing of weddings, or parties, or whatever you choose to celebrate love and commitment. After you have organised and run your own wedding, there is a totally new appreciation for the gift of an invitation and just how special weddings can be. We’re loved the celebration of the family wedding, the fun and joy and the gift that we could give, without all the hard work!

The most important thing about a wedding is that it is a true and authentic expression of the couple. It can cost nothing or be massively expensive, most critical is the intention and meaning for the couple and their community.

A friend of mine, who is a wedding photographer, said to me recently, “it doesn’t matter how much a couple spends, one of the best wedding i’ve been to cost $100, what matters is the love in the room!”

I wish you celebration of love in your life in all its forms.
Know that we are blessed, truly!

Much love
Sarah

Finding your tribe…

Just recently I had lunch with one of my best friends from University days and it was an amazing experience! We had been really close during our second year, studying Italian, hanging out, organising events for the Italian club and socialising (a lot). There was this beautiful ‘simpatico’ or compatability between us.

companionImage from Carolyn Myss, Archetype cards.

At 21, I left to go overseas for six months and came back changed, reeling from culture shock and transformed by the experience. Unexpectedly we drifted apart. We still can’t explain it. No conflict, no decision to disconnect, our paths just took us in different directions and we had little contact for the next 20 years.

starhotels comImage from http://www.starhotelst.com

In the intervening time, we made interesting life journeys.  Me, working with community arts and youth work in health promotion, services for homelessness, drug use, mental health, abuse and violence, and later teaching and education for future workers. My friend went on to lecture at University in nursing, the arts and community health, delivering health care informed by social justice, culture and community participation. Different paths but common threads!

jmeetzestudiocommonthreads blogspot comImage from http://www.jmeetzestudiocommonthreads.blogspot.com

Enter facebook friend finder and we hooked back up. We’ve caught up a couple of times since and after a rapid life update, we very quickly fell into the comfortable pattern of simpatico. Listening to each other, excited by our stories and journeys, we sparked off each other. You know the kind of conversations where words seem to trip over each other. What fun! Not only were we sharing our experiences and practically finishing each other’s sentences, we lifted and extended each other ideas to new territory and new creative possibilities.

Afterwards, it got me thinking about tribes and what is my tribe? For me, people from your tribe are like a mirror to your best self and your passions. They are where you feel at home and remind you of who you are.  Here are some of my tribes:

My social justice tribe – those with a passion for justice, participation, diversity, inclusion, those who imagine and dream of a more just and peaceful world, where we share our loving humanity and celebrate our diversity.

pinterest comImage from http://www.pinterest.com

My eco-warrior tribe – these folk understand humanity as living in a connected web with all beings who live on this planet, those who fight for sustainability, protect and restore habitats and seek to live lightly on the planet. Those optimists who seek innovative, ethical and creative solutions to the challenges facing humanity.

www habitatadvocate com auImage – Miranda Gibson Styx Valley protest, in http://www.habitatadvocate.com.au

My creative arts fairies and happy travellers tribe – these are my friends who experience their life as a creative expression, this might be through the arts – music, visual arts, dance etc or through the way they explore and create life on their own terms, living with love, compassion and peace with themselves and others

kayeriakweks wordpress comImage from http://www.karyeriakweks.wordpress.com

My spiritual crew – these are my fellow journeyers who experience the multidimensional nature of human existence, they experience the divine and know themselves, as spirit, as a piece of the divine and they see it in others. They play with crystals, fairies, angels, beings of light and they are willing to journey through the shadows for the higher evolution of their souls and the human collective. They are wayshowers, holding the torch, they are catalysts for change as they have the courage to seek to be all that they are.

www domesticdiva caImage from http://www.domesticdiva.ca

When i’m really lucky, the same friend comes from multiple tribes and there is that particular spark!! When i reflect on my tribes, they’re not just thinkers and dreamers, they’re also do-ers. Living from their essence of love, they bring change to the world not only through their creative thoughts, words and actions, but particularly when they are true to who they really are.

communityartscollective orgImage from http://www.communityartscollective.org

My dear friend is moving overseas with her family to pursue her dreams. I am so pleased for her new adventures and glow with the blessing of knowing, that we are from the same tribe and we will always be connected. These kind of heart connections can never be severed.

www wildlifeadventures comImage from http://www.wildlifeadventures.com

Who are your tribes?

I’d love to hear where you feel at home and who reminds you of who you truly are.

Blessings and light for a day of simpatico!

Sarah

The artist’s moon…

“Art is not a pastime but a priesthood” Jean Cocteau

“Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does, the better” Andre Gide

artistThe Artist, Carolyn Myss Archetype Cards

I was recently introduced to the work of Raven Kaldera. I love learning from others, whatever their life experience. The challenge is staying open and banishing preconceptions.

The upcoming full moon on 15 April 2014 is a red moon coinciding with a full lunar eclipse. Here’s what Raven has to say about the full moon in Libra.

“In the Libra Full Moon, the emotions and appreciation of beauty of the Lover spring forth into the Artist. The experience of love has inspired Libra Moon people and thrown them into a paroxysm of creative fervour. The Muse has spoken, and the inner feelings are externalized onto paper, or on canvas, or in stone, or in music. The Full Moon is always a blossoming, and to some extent the purest and most archetypal form of that Moon sign, so the Artist is the ultimate expression of Venus filtered through intellectual Air.”

Raven goes on to explain – at it’s highest expression, art can help us to see the value of aesthetics and to see things in a new way. On the shadow side, it can be about judging people and things for their aesthetics and not going beneath the surface. During this moon phase we can learn to appreciate art with our intuition. It’s a great time to start or pick up unfinished creative projects. You could go to an art exhibition, support the arts or even buy some. It’s also a good time to go public with your art.

“We all know that Art is not Truth. Art is the lie that makes us realize the Truth – at least, the truth that is given to us to understand” Pable Picasso

The creative arts are a cornerstone of society. They are so critically important for a people in knowing and expressing themselves, and in imagining possible futures. Art also has an incredible ability to cut through rationales and justifications and see into the truth of a matter. There is a rich legacy of artists who have challenged injustice and been vilified. I honour them, as a I share this burning passion for justice. Picasso’s Guernica is a fabulous example:

removables co uk

Image from http://www.removables.co.uk

Art comes in many forms: painting, sculpture, music, dance, storytelling, writing, film, performance, crafts, sewing and needle work, mosaics, pottery etc etc. The list is endless. A friend of mine came back from Bali and told me there is no word for art. The word for art is “to do” as everything you do is creative expression. I encourage you to think beyond the constraints of the fine arts and transcend fear and perfectionism that block us creatively.

“I’m always thinking about creating. My future starts when I wake up every morning . . . Every day I find something creative to do with my life.” Miles Davis

The creation of your self and your life is one of the greatest acts of artistry. Everything is creative, life is creative. How you dress yourself, how you create a conversation, a meal, your home environment, your garden. Everything you do is a creative expression of yourself. Unexpressed creativity can manifest as illness, depression, anger, bitterness etc.

So you’re not even sure where to start? Nicole over at Cauldrons and Cupcakes has some fabulous posts on creativity. Enhance your creativity and How to nurture your creativity are a great beginning.

A couple of years ago, I did the course “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron, it’s a fabulous 12 week course for helping to unblock and further develop your creativity.

“Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not the sitter” Oscar Wilde

Kevin portraitAt my essence I’m a spiritual artist. I’ve dabbled in many creative forms over the years, including painting, drawing, quilting, needlework, etc. But it’s quite a leap to go from squirreling away in a corner to putting the work out to an audience. Even a garden is creative expression. Here’s my latest project, the herb and flower garden.

Herb gardenSo all my dear friends who are quietly writing or painting or expressing yourself, we’d love you to share you work with us. It is such a great gift to others to step beyond the fear of judgement and share your art with the world.The wise amongst us will embrace you with a loving heart. This is an invitation, but please be true to your authentic self, some art is just for doing not for sharing. There is wonderful value in this as well!

This week for me, is about creative expression. The rest of my life is the unfolding of a beautiful work of art.

May you see unexpected beauty and be creative today.

Much love

Sarah

 

 

Keep the change, perhaps…

Recently a friend of mine invited me to an upmarket women’s lunch, a beautiful invitation to a fashion event at a swish hotel. Quite an ‘out of the box’ thing for me to do. It later transpired that i couldn’t go, but that’s another story. The lunch cost $95, even when i was working that was a lot of cash, but it was a one off treat. I caught up with my friend a month later and i gave her $100 to cover the cost. I started to say “keep the change…” but then i stopped. In the intervening time, I had stopped working, so my relationship with money and physical resources had shifted. I gave myself permission to receive the change and be clear with myself about it’s value to me, and no guilt trips for seeming ungenerous.

It’s about perspective. Once $5 was a couple of times daily cup of coffee or some loose change…

sm-artjohn-mills-coffee-20140113123548399684-300x0Image from www.goodfood.com.au

but now $5 looks more to me like this…

IMGP0049A $5 bargain box from the local fruit shop.

I wanted to start by saying that this post isn’t intended as some lecture from the moral high ground about material resources. It’s a reflection on my journey, some of which may resonate for you. If you are living on a low income, a single mum with three children or another low income circumstance, then I’m telling you nothing new. In fact you’re probably highly conscious of the value of money and a total whiz at making the most of very little and i could learn a lot from you.

The experience above, caused me to pause and reflect on my relationship and attitude during my life to physical resources. To acknowledge the privileges i have in my life and highlight areas or attitudes of lack. Sometimes this has been blind privilege, not just in relation to  physical resources, but to other gifts, such as health, personal attributes such as intelligence, motivation, opportunities for education, family and friendships, the capacity to love etc. In fact when i open myself to it, i am so grateful and thankful for these blessings. I sometimes think we’d be such a kinder society if we were not so blind to our own privileges and blessings.

When i stopped work i received a payout. A useful amount that we put straight onto the mortgage. When the payment came into my account, i expected to be filled by joy and relief. It was the celebration of the end of this phase of my life, the culmination of a dream and a handy payout to accompany it. Instead I panicked and was filled with dread. I was struck with the reality that this was the final pay, no more money was coming in from me for the foreseeable future. A friend of mine who’d made a similar leap of faith a couple of years ago, reassured me that this was normal and she experienced the same. So it wasn’t about lacking gratitude, it was my fear of stepping away from a secure income into the unknown. For me money had become a symbol of security, independence and freedom. I now question that. Was I actually a slave to this belief system? Was I compromising my essence to earn the money?

BU010606Image from skintdad.co.uk

Since i’ve been working i’ve been reasonably canny with money, bought a house early to minimise paying rent. The hard work and forgone opportunities over the years have set me up with a few more options. This has been a conscious choice. Mostly though, i haven’t had to think too much about money, no clear budget, i have been accustomed to being able to purchase items at will, as there was pay coming in next fortnight. Fortunately my financial aspirations were never too high – no yachts, concord tickets or high fashion items in my wardrobe, but i’ve always had enough to buy a book here, a crystal there, a take out meal out without thinking too much about it.

When i stopped work i worried that i would find it hard to stop spending. To my suprise, it was very easy. The day i stopped work, spending just came to a halt. I realised that i used shopping as a balm to nurture myself and as a reward for the amount of time and energy i was giving to others. Once my time became my own and i stepped into my own self nurturing power, the desire to spend just fell away.

Now i have the time and energy to scour the shops for bargains, to do the research and find the best prices, to keep an eye on ebay, go to garage sales, 2nd hand shops, school fetes, to come back tomorrow or next week when things are on special. I am now consciously aware of what i have, and have the headspace to work out how to be clever with it. The difference between needs and wants is now so much clearer. I now have time to grind the beans and make myself coffee each morning.

single guys house blendImage from eatdrinkandbekerry.blogspot.com

Study after study has shown that money only affects happiness if it makes the difference between surviving or not. Beyond survival, money has no impact on happiness. Once your basic physical needs are met (food, water, shelter, health care, physical safety etc), happiness beyond that is about expectations and attitude.

So abundance and happiness are an internal state of being.

(Although i still laugh at the joke that i might not be happy but i can anchor my yacht next to happiness and have a great view of it! )

Some dear friends of mine are from a pacific island country and i am blessed by their perspective. They grew up on subsistence level living, where having crops for food and a few pigs and chooks was abundance. I learned from them that wealth is not about material resources. A person’s wealth can be measured by their relationships with family, friends and community. My dear friends spend a lot of time, energy and money on sending money back home, nurturing their relationships, taking time to yarn and tell stories, they would literally give the shirt off their back if someone needed it more than them. When my friends go back home, everything they take with them, all their clothing and material possessions are given to their community. They come back with love, memories and beautiful connections that are far more valuable.

chookImage from www.svquest.com

A couple of years ago when i travelled to the middle east and north Africa with my sister, i was confused that items often didn’t seem have a price on them. “Why?” i asked. The answer i was given was that there is no fixed price, the value of something is how much someone is willing to pay and what the vendor is willing to sell. So the value of something depends on attitude and negotiation, how much it means to the vendor and buyer.

In the last year, when work felt more of a drag and effort, i started to look at the price of items in a new way. Previously i was accustomed to having a pool of cash or credit and just drawing from it if i felt like it. I had disconnected my own work and effort required to bring in that money. The shift happened when i started to calculate the price of items according to my hourly rate of pay. I began to say, that item is 2 or 4 hours work. Is that item worth two hours work to me, or not?  This helped me to value my time in a new way.

Today i splashed out and bought a take away cup of coffee, i took the time to savour it, taste it and it felt abundantly luxurious to not have to make it myself. Best coffee i’ve had in ages!

Wishing you a day of peace and abundance!

Much love
Sarah

PS I’d love to hear some of your experiences and perspectives on money.

PPS Just been sent this. A good link to the economics and manufacture of desire.. When i was 19, i studied marketing at University, it was mostly about psychologically manipulating people to spend money on products they may not need. Interesting read!